FSU experts offer advice for maintaining healthy romantic relationships

Valentine’s Day is a time to focus on relationships.

As the holiday approaches, professors in the Anne Spencer Daves College of Education, Health, and Human Sciences offered expert insight into the mechanisms that contribute to successful romantic relationships, focusing on key themes such as emotional awareness, vulnerability and shared values.

FSU faculty are available to share their expertise and research insights with the media by contacting them via email.

Paul Peluso, professor and department chair
prp24a@fsu.edu

As former president of the International Association of Marriage and Family Counseling and current American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) supervisor, Peluso is an expert in the field of human and family development. He is the author of 12 books, including ones on the topic of couples therapy, relationships and the impact and treatment of infidelity. His research is focused on the verbal and non-verbal emotional exchanges in relationships, and how they influence their partners. He is a Fellow of the American Counseling Association and a Clinical Member of AAMFT.

“Romantic relationships encompass the blissful highs of falling in love, feeling invincible and feeling like the world is a place of warmth and joy. However, they can also bring loneliness and isolation when a partner consistently fails to understand your needs or the bitter sorrow that comes with betrayal and rejection. My clinical work with couples, as well as my research on relationships, seems to align with current statistics. According to the Gottman Institute, 60-70% of all conflicts between romantic partners are perpetual and lack identifiable solutions. This being said, the key to maintaining a healthy relationship does not lie in solving every problem but rather in the quiet moments of comfort when a partner is feeling down, the ability to laugh together amid hard conversations, and holding a mutual commitment to shared values.

Jamila Holcomb, assistant teaching professor
jholcomb@fsu.edu

Holcomb, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is dedicated to supporting individuals and families as they heal from past traumas and navigate mental health and relationship challenges. As a professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Sciences, Holcomb works to educate students on the complexities of family life while providing mentorship for their personal and academic growth.

“Whenever I think of relationships, I am reminded of a quote by bell hooks — ‘Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation.’ Healthy relationships are essential to our health and wellness, and it is within the context of healthy relationships that we learn to navigate our own personal struggles and better manage life’s hardships. My biggest piece of advice on maintaining healthy romantic relationships specifically is prioritizing emotional awareness and safety. If your partner is emotionally unavailable to you or unable to tolerate your emotional experiences, it is important to seek out the expertise of a couple/marriage and family therapist to support you all in this area. We need to know that our partners are safe people with whom we can be vulnerable and share our emotional experiences.”

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